Conversation

Thanks for your sms. Am doing better thanks. My cold has cleared although my eyes are still a bit teary.  I completely understand what you're saying about your hair.  I am dreading the heat of summer as my head is covered with my scarf and my head tends to sweat a lot without my hair for some odd reason.  It does seem a long time to be without hair but by the new year it will start growing back. And better too, so hang in there. Didn't realise how much my hair meant to me.

I'm assuming you're back at work.  Hope that you're doing ok.  I must say that I still wake up some mornings wishing this was all a bad dream and at the same am amazed that for the most part I am actually ok.  Guess life will never quite be same again.

I am glad you are better, I know that if we get flu it can become quite bad and even dangerous. Ja, the hair thing...damn. I also thought I will be ok, and I am. But I suddenly realised last night that there are months ahead still, of not having hair. I am not used to wearing a scarf but it looks ok, although I am very self-conscious. 

I was back at work on Thu, felt a bit better than the 1st time of chemo. Just tired. And only slightly nauseaus. I wanted to ask you if you are eating a special diet? And are you also not eating meat? I find its the last thing I am craving...

No, I'm not on a special diet. I know of someone else who's decided to stop eating any dairy.  What I have done is make sure that I eat well.  I don't have an appetite immediately after my treatment but in the days ahead my appetite picks up and I do eat very well.  I'm not worried about picking up weight (which is usually a preoccupation with me).  So I try and have good food and regular meals. I surprisingly haven't picked up any weight.  I've never been a lover of meat, especially red meat, so still not eating much of it. 

I heard someone a few weeks ago that went out and bought 400 scarves, can you believe it!  I have a headache today and thought it was because of how tight my scarf is on my head but now realise it's related to my getting my period again.  Irene said it would stay away but this is the second time I'm getting it.  It's not great in terms of losing blood and my immune system but will see how it goes.

I know what you mean re: food. I eat very well too and seem to crave fruit and veg (luckily). I have however cut out wheat, dairy, sugar and red meat. And I am feeling great! Have lost a bit of weight but I think its because I am also not drinking alcohol so much ;-)

I also got my period 2 weeks ago. I hope your headache goes away. I usually get a bit of a headache a day after my chemo. I normally dont suffer from headaches in general.  Irene wasnt therewith my 2nd treatment, so I havent  really spoken to her or anything. I dont even know how they know if the chemo is working. Are you having a mastectomy? And going on Tamoxifan? I am, but that is next years' worries, I guess.

Impressed that you've cut out so much.  Don't think I could manage without bread.  You know I look at my mom who was diagnosed at the age of 26 and she eats everything.  So I'm trying to keep positive and feel normal and just eat the way I usually do.  I do need to cut out sugar a bit more though. 

Irene did say that she would be away for the school holidays. Think she's back now though.  I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do about the surgery. There is a high chance of recurrence with my family history so surgery seems the best option but I'm not yet sure.  As you say, it's next years worries.  Jenny said if I don't have surgery I need to have radium treatment.  But can't think of all that right now.  

Shame, I know. But please remember you are not alone. And yes, it's shit. But I know I need to have that op. Unfortunately my one breast is not negotiable but I have decided to have a bilateral mast. I am not crawling into a corner and letting this disease take over. It can have my breasts, for free, but that is where I draw the line!!! Maybe we should have it done round about the same time. Just a thought...

Anway, I don't even know if I have to contact Jenny or if they contact me? I guess more towards the end of chemo? Rather a daunting thing...

Very daunting! You know Jenny told me of one of her patients who had the op and now lives in Australia has sent her an email saying that she came second in a surfing competition!  So I keep thinking that it will be an adjustment for me but in time it will feel like my own body again.  I just get exhausted thinking of having yet another op and then having to manage all the changes afterwards.  Jenny wants to do the op in January I think but I still need to meet with her and the reconstruction surgeon.  Just don't have the energy for it, emotionally especially.  Wish there was a fast forward button...